Warlocks – the term originates from the Old Northumbrian for ‘our hair’ as early warlocks were famed for their outrageously large beehive hairdos. In a footnote to his ‘Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum’, the Venerable Bede wrote ‘There are locals who forsake the Lord and instead besmear their loins in goose grease and applieth the sameContinue reading “‘No It’s True’ – A Treatise on the History of Warlocks”
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‘Wither Walt?’ – A Treatise on America’s Other Animation Studio
With the early depictions of Mickey Mouse falling out of copyright protection in January, it reminded me of that other great animation studio: Barfing. In this treatise, I explore its birth, rise, and eventual fall from grace and why we remember the Mouseketeers but not Barfonauts. Dick Barfing founded the animation studio in 1927 atContinue reading “‘Wither Walt?’ – A Treatise on America’s Other Animation Studio”
‘Shall I Compare Thee to the Roundness of a Cox’s Orange Pippin’ – A Treatise on Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18
Let’s take it a line at a time. “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?” – Shakespeare was of course famously indecisive – “To be or not to be?”, “This supernatural soliciting cannot be ill; cannot be good:”, “Darling you’ve got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?’. This ditheryContinue reading “‘Shall I Compare Thee to the Roundness of a Cox’s Orange Pippin’ – A Treatise on Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18”
‘Sweet-toothed Songstresses’ – A Treatise on the Cultural Significance of the Sugababes
Whilst Britney Spears wished to be hit, Aguilera insisted on being rubbed before she cooperated in any way, the Sugababes simply requested that people pressed a button. This unassuming approach to life appealed to a great deal of the British public at the turn of the millennia when we were all just thankful the bugContinue reading “‘Sweet-toothed Songstresses’ – A Treatise on the Cultural Significance of the Sugababes”
‘Feeling Blue’ – A Treatise on the Husbandry of Smurfs
Smurfs were first actively farmed for syrup in medieval Belgium. It had long been known of course that the queen of a Smurf colony, known as Smurfette, secreted syrup to feed the young Smurflings. Caesar wrote in his ‘Comentarii de Bello Gallico’ about the Northern Gallic tribes who ‘did squeeze from the pictsie an unctionContinue reading “‘Feeling Blue’ – A Treatise on the Husbandry of Smurfs”
‘You Are Happy’ – A Treatise on Wellbeing in a Modern ‘Banana Republic’
The following words are not my own but are in fact those of il Presidente José Daniél Iagez of the small South American ‘banana’ republic of San Guillermo. The words were given as part of his bi-weekly television address to the nation. They serve as an interesting treatise on the nature of wellbeing in relationContinue reading “‘You Are Happy’ – A Treatise on Wellbeing in a Modern ‘Banana Republic’”
‘Johnny B. Goode’ – An Apocryphal Treatise on the Career of Johnny Depp
In 1985, due to a clerical error, a young Johnny Depp accidentally sold his soul to Teddy Ruxpin. This wasn’t a major issue until Hasbro bought out the original Ruxpin-making company and set about putting a portion of his soul into every Ruxpin produced. Later, J.K. Rowling cited the Johnny Depp-Ruxpin soul dilemma as aContinue reading “‘Johnny B. Goode’ – An Apocryphal Treatise on the Career of Johnny Depp”
‘Gathering No Moss’ – A Treatise on Important Historic Rocks
Witnessing the removal of the Stone of Scone from Edinburgh Castle for the coronation of King Charles III, and the clear acute embarrassment of everyone involved with the ceremony of slowly processing a lump of sandstone from one location to another, made me think of a treatise I’d written during a period of convalescence whilstContinue reading “‘Gathering No Moss’ – A Treatise on Important Historic Rocks”
‘Howzat Father!’ – A Treatise on one of History’s Most Influential Cricket Clubs
Sir Dandy Gladstone, Lord Peterbury Nomenclature, Casper Princely-Squinting, all names that have been etched in stone in the pantheon of cricketing gods, yet none of them played in that immortal Wessex C.C.C of 1897 whose sporting feats have echoed through the ages like campanologists in Cheddar Gorge. Considered the first truly great cricket team, theyContinue reading “‘Howzat Father!’ – A Treatise on one of History’s Most Influential Cricket Clubs”
‘The First Fold is the Deepest’ – A Treatise on the Art and History of Origami
The origami art form was invented and developed by Catherine de Montford (1456-1493) who, once she’d finished her cod and chips after Bingo, absent-mindedly folded the grease-soaked newspaper into the shape of a dabchick. De Montford earned a living from travelling from hamlet to hamlet, foisting miniaturised effigies of waterfowl on unsuspecting people to theirContinue reading “‘The First Fold is the Deepest’ – A Treatise on the Art and History of Origami”
Treatises of Gloria 