Category Archives: Uncategorized

Let us start at the very beginning with the seed. Seeds are like popcorn and were invented by the same man, Ludwig Von Treeble in Dusseldorf back in 1722. Before then plants had arrived fully formed or were chiselled out of basalt by warlocks. The invention of the seed meant that amateurs could suddenly getContinue reading “The Marrow, a Beginner’s Guide – A Treatise on the Evolution of the Marrow”

Stave One I was first visited by the spectre of the late Raymond Burr back in the autumn of 2012 whilst I was pruning near some plum trees, psyching myself up for the real thing. What alerted me to the fact that it was the late actor’s spectre and not the man himself, was notContinue reading “The Visitations of Raymond Burr – A Treatise on Paranormal Chastisement”

When famous 1980s film-star, Steve Guttenburg invented the printing press, little did he know the impact that it would have. Put simply: it revolutionised the film industry. Whereas for ‘Three Men and a Baby’ the script was cobbled together on scraps of handwritten notes that were hastily passed between cast members (famously an entire lion-tamingContinue reading “The Legacy of Guttenburg – A Treatise on the Impact of the Printing Press”

If we discount for the moment that Pat’s sorting depot is now better equipped than Tracy Island, and instead focus on the strange shiftings in the populace between the original series and the modern, I feel the most important and pressing issue from a humanitarian perspective is that of those subtly erased from Greendale. ThereContinue reading “A Treatise on the Shifting Cast of Postman Pat: The Lost of Greendale”

It is, of course, a great irony that the lead actress of Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’, famed for her ornithophobia, should have spent the past forty years on this planet searching for a goose.             After a failed yeast extracting business with her ex-husband, Peter Griffith, Hedren had set up a petting zoo in her hometownContinue reading “‘The Lost Goose of Tippi Hedren – A Treatise on the Futility of Avian Relocation’”

John Noakes – 83 years old 6/3/34 – 28/5/17 Manuel Noriega – 83 years old 11/2/34 – 29/5/17 John Noakes and Manuel Noriega were born within a month of each other in 1934 and died within a day of each other in 2017. Or did they? Is this too much of a coincidence? Noriega, theContinue reading “The Noakes and Noriega Treatise – A Modern Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”

Obviously there’s ‘Moby Dick’. Although ‘Moby Dick’ himself rather than just literally being a whale is instead a leviathan-sized metaphor for the American pants industry – Melville’s father having been an importer of French dry goods. The character of Queequeg represents front-buttoned blue cotton pantaloons and we can certainly tell how Melville felt about them.Continue reading “A Treatise on Literary Cetaceans – The Importance of Whales in Western Literature”