In October a squid was elected to the North Macedonian Assembly causing great controversy as North Macedonia is landlocked. Despite, as a species, not being native to North Macedonia, the squid in question was born in the Oceanarium in Skopje and therefore qualified to run for government under the non-cephalopod sub-clause lacking North Macedonian constitution.Continue reading “‘Never Give a Cephalopod a Banjo’ – A Treatise on the Work of Dr. Evadne Plummaster”
Tag Archives: writing
‘The Proposed Solution for the High Rate of Murders in Cincinnati’ – A Treatise on Innovative Crime Figure Solutions
I have below a record of the Police Chief of Cincinnati’s speech to the city council given earlier this week where he explained the force’s recent work on lowering statistics for a series of major crimes. Fellow Ohioans, I stand before you today the proud leader of the great city of Cincinnati’s law enforcement agency.Continue reading “‘The Proposed Solution for the High Rate of Murders in Cincinnati’ – A Treatise on Innovative Crime Figure Solutions”
‘Your Just Desserts!’ – A Treatise on the Traditional Desserts of English Cuisine
For those not of an English background, the stodge-filled delights of a classic English dessert menu can be somewhat intimidating and only really consumable if you’ve declined to have a starter or main course, and care little for the well-being of your lower intestine. In this treatise I take you through a range of thoseContinue reading “‘Your Just Desserts!’ – A Treatise on the Traditional Desserts of English Cuisine”
The Brown Bin Affair – A Treatise on the Questionable Historical Significance of Thirteen Brown Bins
My neighbour, Gladys Throatsweet, is currently in dispute with the local council as she has thirteen brown bins for garden waste and is refusing to give up any of them. The council insists that her council tax entitles her to the use of just one of these brown bins and that her hoarding of thirteenContinue reading “The Brown Bin Affair – A Treatise on the Questionable Historical Significance of Thirteen Brown Bins”
‘One Step Beyond’ – A Treatise on Obscure Afterlife Beliefs from Around the World
The Theravada form of Buddhism practiced in parts of Nepal expresses, like all forms of Buddhism, a belief in reincarnation. However, in this tradition, they believe that several people can be reincarnated as the same person at once, which they use as an explanation for multiple personality disorder. The voices in the head are justContinue reading “‘One Step Beyond’ – A Treatise on Obscure Afterlife Beliefs from Around the World”
‘No It’s True’ – A Treatise on the History of Warlocks
Warlocks – the term originates from the Old Northumbrian for ‘our hair’ as early warlocks were famed for their outrageously large beehive hairdos. In a footnote to his ‘Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum’, the Venerable Bede wrote ‘There are locals who forsake the Lord and instead besmear their loins in goose grease and applieth the sameContinue reading “‘No It’s True’ – A Treatise on the History of Warlocks”
‘Shall I Compare Thee to the Roundness of a Cox’s Orange Pippin’ – A Treatise on Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18
Let’s take it a line at a time. “Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day?” – Shakespeare was of course famously indecisive – “To be or not to be?”, “This supernatural soliciting cannot be ill; cannot be good:”, “Darling you’ve got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?’. This ditheryContinue reading “‘Shall I Compare Thee to the Roundness of a Cox’s Orange Pippin’ – A Treatise on Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18”
