In October a squid was elected to the North Macedonian Assembly causing great controversy as North Macedonia is landlocked. Despite, as a species, not being native to North Macedonia, the squid in question was born in the Oceanarium in Skopje and therefore qualified to run for government under the non-cephalopod sub-clause lacking North Macedonian constitution.Continue reading “‘Never Give a Cephalopod a Banjo’ – A Treatise on the Work of Dr. Evadne Plummaster”
Tag Archives: fiction
‘The Proposed Solution for the High Rate of Murders in Cincinnati’ – A Treatise on Innovative Crime Figure Solutions
I have below a record of the Police Chief of Cincinnati’s speech to the city council given earlier this week where he explained the force’s recent work on lowering statistics for a series of major crimes. Fellow Ohioans, I stand before you today the proud leader of the great city of Cincinnati’s law enforcement agency.Continue reading “‘The Proposed Solution for the High Rate of Murders in Cincinnati’ – A Treatise on Innovative Crime Figure Solutions”
‘Too Many Cooks . . .’ –A Treatise on the History of TV Chefs in the UK
Seeing as it’s Easter, I thought I’d add a fun, competitive twist to the blog and have therefore hidden Ricardo Montalban three times throughout this treatise. See if you can find Ricardo Montalban at least once. Why not challenge a friend? Remember, you’re looking for Ricardo Montalban. Technically, there are now more celebrity TV chefsContinue reading “‘Too Many Cooks . . .’ –A Treatise on the History of TV Chefs in the UK”
‘The Lying Toad’ – A Treatise on a Rediscovered Grimm Fairy Tale
Scholars of classic German Literature were delighted recently when a lost work by the Brothers Grimm was unearthed by workmen, who were refitting a harbour master’s boiler in Oberammergau. The work, which was dated to 1847, was serialised on the back of Bryant & May match boxes. Below, I’ve reproduced verbatim the translation produced byContinue reading “‘The Lying Toad’ – A Treatise on a Rediscovered Grimm Fairy Tale”
‘Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?’ – A Treatise on the Origin of Jokes
The best way to kill a joke is by explaining how it works. Another way is by exploring and investigating its origins. In this treatise I intend to murder several of the English language’s most stalwart rib-ticklers. “My wife has gone to the West Indies.” “Jamaica?” “No, she went of her own accord.” This jokeContinue reading “‘Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?’ – A Treatise on the Origin of Jokes”
‘No It’s True’ – A Treatise on the History of Warlocks
Warlocks – the term originates from the Old Northumbrian for ‘our hair’ as early warlocks were famed for their outrageously large beehive hairdos. In a footnote to his ‘Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum’, the Venerable Bede wrote ‘There are locals who forsake the Lord and instead besmear their loins in goose grease and applieth the sameContinue reading “‘No It’s True’ – A Treatise on the History of Warlocks”
